The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

However when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that numerous of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urban areas, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Many gay men wish to discover from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North her comment is here includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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